Love we Lost
by Zeroize
Summary: Gilbert finds himself consumed by darkness as he is transformed into a demon. Can Break find a way to preserve his humanity and comfort him? (Gilbert x Break, a Vampire AU )
1. I've been alone here

**Title: The Love We Lost**

**Pairings: Xerxes Break/Gilbert Nightray**

**Rating: M (For future chapters, because it will get very... lemon-y!) Mature themes, Gore, Language and Sexual Content.**

**Summary: Gilbert finds himself consumed by darkness as he is transformed into a demon. Can Break find a way to preserve his humanity, or is he too lost to be saved? **

* * *

_I've been alone here, I've been afraid, my dear._

_I've been at home here. You've been away for years. I've been alone._

_I breathed your name into the air; I etched your name into me._

_I felt my anger swelling; I swam into its sea._

_I held your name inside my heart, but it got buried in my fear._

_It tore the wiring of my brain; I did my best to keep it clear._

* * *

On a bitter, cold night Raven found himself staring blankly up at the dark sky, stars glimmering and radiating as brightly as he'd ever seen them before. He watched his own breath dancing in front of his face, the air so cold that his lips went numb. The damp earth beneath his back made him uncomfortable but he couldn't muster up the strength to roll himself over. His head shifted to the left as his eyes began to blur and he could see a crimson red reminder of his grim situation.

'Blood? That's right... my blood.' A bleak and lonely feeling settled in as he was reminded of how he got himself into this mess. This was a moment in his life he'd never be able to forget.

Xerxes Break had proposed that himself and Gil track down a group of illegal contractors that had recently been on a gruesome killing spree. The degree of the deaths had been more brutal and violent than most so he'd wanted to keep Alice and Oz uninvolved in the mess and chose to give them petty jobs to entertain themselves with while the group was gone.

Though Gil wasn't fond of leaving Oz's side for any reason he'd certainly rather put himself in danger to help Break than to drag Oz along with them. He'd left the manor that day with a heavy feeling in chest, as if fate itself was telling him not to go on this mission. He sat in silence on the carriage ride towards town, pulling the rim of his hat down to cover his eyes as he wished quietly to himself that he was just back with Oz, keeping him safe.

"Something on your mind, Gilbert?" The white haired male noticed the other's uncomfortable body language as he gave a nonchalant smile.

"Hmm... I just want to get this over with, I have a bad feeling about all of it." He glanced up as he spoke, golden eyes slightly reminding the other man of a frightened, lost puppy.

"Oh, and here I thought you were just upset that Oz-kun isn't with us." He said in a teasing manner, his smile widening. "Don't worry, we'll take care of this before the night is over." His voice softened a little as if trying to reassure the Gilbert.

Gilbert flinched a little at hearing Oz's name, and he hated that Break could always see right through him and predict what he was thinking. He let out a small sigh as he slouched in his seat, closing his eyes to try to relax for the remainder of their ride.

They arrived at their destination and upon exiting the carriage Gilbert couldn't help but shudder at the cool air, he had been expecting it but hadn't mentally prepared himself for the cold. Evening was approaching quickly and the entire town seemed to be abandoned. With the recent killing spree that had been occurring at night everyone chose to lock themselves in the warmth of their homes and pray for safety. What he wasn't expecting, however, was to find the illegal contractors so easily. They didn't take much care to hide themselves, it was almost as if they weren't afraid of the duo that had entered their territory. And that made Gilbert even more uncomfortable.

The two found themselves surrounded by dark alleys, nearly back to back as they scouted their surroundings. The killers did not come face to face with them but rather surrounded them in the shadows, slipping in and out of the darkness as if they were phantoms. Gil gripped his pistol tightly as he tried to keep up with the movements. Break moved to unsheathe his sword, his red eye gleaming dangerously as he jumped away from Gilbert. Darting through the shadows effortlessly he lashed out at the demonic beings before him.

The black haired male knew it was also his time to strike. Quickly taking advantage of the overwhelming distraction caused by his partner he took aim and fired. He hit one of the figures clean in the head and watched it stumble out into the dim street lamp in front of him. He could now see a man dressed heavily in black robes to hide himself. His face, though appearing to be that of a normal man, felt dark and evil. Gilbert could see where he'd shot the man through the cheekbone but much to his shock the wound was rapidly healing before his eyes.

"Shit!" He mumbled, quickly advancing backwards and firing off more rounds. The man swiftly jumped back into the shadows with a menacing laugh. 'This isn't good, I can't kill them, at this rate i'll...' He was cut off mid thought as he frantically looked around for his white haired companion. Where had Break gone? Could he handle them on his own? He could feel a small amount of panic setting in as he continued to frantically fire. At least the gun shots held them at bay, he could only assume it hurt them enough that they didn't want to keep tasting bullets.

At that moment he felt an overwhelming darkness, more profound than any of the figures that were before him. As he turned he could see the giant, ominous figure of the Mad Hatter just on the other side of a building beside him. 'So they pushed him that far, huh?' And he knew the fight would be over, these malevolent creatures would be devoured before his eyes.

But they weren't disintegrating as he'd hoped. Instead he heard the vicious laughter he'd heard before as he could see six, maybe seven of them descend on him at once. He was powerless to stop them, he felt them tearing at him from all angles as he let out a sharp scream. He hit the ground hard but barely felt it as he slipped in and out of consciousness.

'Why...' He thought bitterly 'Why was I so powerless to stop them? I can't give up, I have to see Oz...' He felt his thoughts fading, his mind slipping and for a moment he lost his grasp on reality and let the darkness overwhelm him.

"Gil, Gilbert!" He was brought back to his harsh reality as he could hear a horse voice half shouting his name. His eyes opened weakly but all the could see was the black sky above him, and as he turned his head he watched his own blood pooling onto the ground beside him.

"Ah Gilbert, can you speak?" He heard the words coming from the man's mouth but his brain wasn't registering them. Instead he was brought back to his memories of the day Oz had been dragged into the abyss. He was left so alone and frightened. He'd both searched and waited for years. He wondered if this is how Oz felt when he was pulled into the darkness, his fear was enough to swallow him whole.

The red eyed man lifted Gilbert's head gently so he could sit him up in a position that would make it easier to carry him but as he went to pull him forward the younger man lifted a shaking, bloody hand and gently brushed them against Break's lips. The movement felt cold and somehow caring at the same time.

"Oz..." He gently murmured as his his golden eyes began to slowly close. Break glanced down to see the pathetic and longing look that overwhelmed the younger man's face before before lifting him into his arms. He felt the warmth of Gilbert's blood seeping through the sleeves of his beloved, white jacket and frowned slightly at the thought of it getting filthy.

"What a very interesting situation we've found ourselves in, am I correct Emily?" He let out a few weak, soft coughs and could taste a familiar metallic substance in his mouth.

"We certainly have, I can't wait to see what you do this time, Break!" The small doll chirped up in response.

* * *

Raven slowly blinked his brilliantly golden eyes open, only to quickly slam them shut at the intensity of the light above his face. He flinched and shook his head delicately before attempting to just ever so slightly open them again.

"Gil!" He heard a warm and familiar voice come lulling over him. The last he could remember he thought he'd never hear Oz Bezarius' voice again.

"Oz..." He muttered weakly as he glanced around the room, taking in his surroundings. Oz was gripping his hand tightly, his eyes brimming with small tears that were threatening to spill out. Tears mixed with joy and sadness at the same time. He could see the rabbit that he so dearly hated sleeping soundly on a chair beside him and beside her sat a second chair which Xerxes was perched in.

The older man wasn't paying very much attention to the scene that was splayed out before him but instead was staring intently at a handful of sugar cubes that he was proceeding to eat one after another.

Gil's attention however went back to Oz almost immediately as he lifted his hand to delicately rest it against the blonde's cheek. "No tears, Oz, i'm okay." His throat felt dry, making his voice weak and rough sounding but he managed to give a small smile to the boy, happy to have his attention and see that he was safe.

He heard Break clap his hands together as he finished eating his sweets. "Now then!" He exclaimed cheerfully as he jumped to his feet "Not meaning to interrupt this... wonderful little reunion but i'm sure you'd like to know what's going on, right, Gilbert?" As he spoke his smile grew to the point where it could be interpreted as menacing but the black haired male disregarded it.

He nodded his head in response.

"You've been sleeping for 3 days now so i'm sure you're weak from lack of nutrition which may be clouding your thoughts. Not to worry, I'll have food on the way shortly and we'll get you feeling better. You were attacked by... what we can only classify as 'demons'..." he paused as if in thought, his smile fading only slightly before he continued, "Unfortunately I don't know exactly what those demons are..." he drifted off again, and once more his smile faded this time completely.

He was clearly bothered by something, which was not a normal thing for him. It also was very unlike him to not know /exactly/ what something was, or maybe he was just lying to Gilbert about not knowing? The younger man couldn't quite tell what the truth was but he was also too weak and tired to think about it too much.

"The good thing is that your wounds have miraculously healed in an incredibly short period of time which has saved your life. I'm in the process of doing everything I can to find these creatures and put an end to them. That's all the information I have currently." He said very matter of factly as he glared down at Gilbert with his wine-red eye.

Gilbert didn't have much time to process everything and respond, as Break finished speaking a servant walked in the doorway with an arrangement of food displayed on a luxurious looking tray. She placed the tray on a small table beside the bed and gave a small bow "Glad to see you're awake, Master Nightray, please enjoy." As she left the room Break turned to pick up Alice in his arms.

"And let's get this little one to bed as well." He purred. Picking her up easily as she continued to sleep, she'd always been such a heavy sleeper. "I'll give you two some privacy." He shot them a devilish smile before exiting the small room.

Gilbert let out a heavy and relief filled sigh as the room fell silent and he was left alone with the only person in the world he cared to see right now.

"Gil, i'm so glad you're okay..." The boy's voice trailed off as if he was still fighting back the urge to cry. "I'm just so happy to see you that I can't help myself." He gave a half-hearted laugh squeezing even tighter onto the other man's cold hand. Maybe it was because of the temperature in the room, he couldn't quite tell, but he'd never recalled his servant feeling so... cold.

"Oz, I thought i'd never see you again, i'm so sorry... I don't ever want to leave you all alone... i'm sorry, i'm sorry..." He began to repeat over and over, trying to portray how truly guilty he felt for putting himself in such a dangerous situation.

Oz gave a little smile. "I forgive you, just don't put yourself in a situation like that again." He half scolded him. "Now you really need to eat, you need to get your strength back and work on recovering so you're not stuck in this little room." His voice had returned to normal as he reached for a piece of freshly baked bread from the tray. He sounded so much older than he use to, he truly had grown into more of an adult after everything he'd been put through.

Gilbert didn't feel like eating anything at all, in fact the sight of the food was nearly enough to make him cringe but he wanted to fulfill his master's orders. He sat up and moved backwards so his back was pressed between his pillows and the wall to support his weight. He hated to think he was so weak that he couldn't even sit up properly but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he placed his hand over Oz's which was still holding the bread. He pulled it towards his mouth to take a bite of the food and swallowed as quickly as possible.

His body froze and he instantly felt sick as soon as he swallowed down the imposing bread. He began coughing violently, but didn't feel like he was choking but more like he was being strangled. His entire body seemingly rejecting the food he'd taken in.

"Gil!" Oz shrieked, dropping the bread and leaning over the bed to place both hands firmly on his shoulders. Gil quickly pushed him away, as much as he didn't want to, so that he could lean over the side of the bed to vomit. However all that came out of his mouth was blood, so much so that it made a pool on the floor around Oz's feet. The instant loss of blood made him feel dizzy yet all his feelings of weakness were being overcome by something much more primordial... _hunger_.

He couldn't wrap his mind around this intense hunger, he just wanted to act on it, as if someone was controlling his entire being. He sat up, and even though Oz was panicking and trying to push him back down into a laying position, he no longer felt the urge to lie there. He grabbed the blonde's shoulders hard, pulling him onto the bed with him, and with one quick and effortless motion he flipped himself on top of the struggling boy.

"Gil, stop!" His voice mixed between frightened and concerned. He calmed his nerves enough to look into Gilbert's eyes. He was shocked when he didn't see kind, golden eyes, but rather gleaming, malevolent ones that pierced through his soul. If this was anything like the last time Gilbert had become possessed then he knew deep in his heart that Gil could never hurt him. He'd also done a lot of growing up since then and learned that if he didn't protect himself that he may actually end up hurt by someone he trusts very dearly.

With that thought he began to struggle against the older man, using all of his strength to try to push him off. As he pushed however he gasped as Gilbert was sent flying sideways off the bed by an unknown force. As Oz glanced over he saw a very calm, very quiet Break who had just given his black haired friend a swift kick to the side.

And even though Break appeared small and fragile, his kick was enough knock Gilbert out of his trance-like state and into the nearby wall. He spat out more blood as he returned to his senses and even through his daze he was aware of what he'd just done to Oz. He intended to, if only for a minute, actually hurt his master. This thought frightened him more than anything.

"Gil, are you okay?!" Oz exclaimed, rushing to his side.

"Oz." Break chimed in, "I think you should leave just for a little bit, okay?" He smirked at him, his expression overall unreadable.  
"I'm not leaving Gil." Oz cried out, giving the white haired man a hard glare.

Gilbert interrupted the two as they stared at each other "Please... for me, just leave the room for a little bit. I promise i'll feel better soon and come out so just wait for me." He felt pathetic lying on the cool, white floor looking into the exasperated face that was now positioned above his.

"Okay, i'll be just outside the room, if you need anything i'll be here." He tried to best to comfort his servant, his fear plastered across his face as he pushed himself to his feet to reluctantly leave the room, closing the door behind himself.

At that the Hatter's eyes drifted across Gilbert's body, assessing what kind of psychical and mental state he was in. "Let me help you up." He said lightly as he walked over and leaned the other male into a sitting position.

"Wait..." the Raven placed a shaking hand on Break's shoulder, not quite ready to go back to his feet yet. He was afraid if he moved too much he'd only cough up more blood. "What's wrong with me?" He let out a small whimper as he looked pleadingly into the demonic red eye.

"Hmm..." Break seemed to mull over the words in his head for a moment before responding, "I didn't see what happened so i'm not exactly sure but my assumptions as of right now are that you're becoming some sort of demon. Or perhaps you've been possessed by some chain." He paused to gauge the other's response.

Raven flinched at those words, not knowing exactly what to think or feel at that point, he just knew that he felt utterly devastated. He took slow, deliberate breathes as his eyes traveled down to Break's exposed neck. It would be so easy to take his life at that moment, he was being so trusting and flawed. It was at this thought that Gilbert opened his mouth as wide as he possibly could to reveal sharp, menacing fangs that most certainly weren't human.

Break flinched at the sight and pulled slightly away, and for once was genuinely surprised as he thought to himself 'This has become very interesting indeed.' He didn't fight though, just simply closed his eye and titled his head ever so slightly to one side, further exposing himself.

Gilbert descended on him, biting down rough and hungry, much like an untrained and inexperienced beast. In his mind he could still grasp what he was doing, but only slightly, he was overpowered by his dominant instincts at that point. But something shook him back to reality a little more. It was the intoxicating taste of Break's blood, it was metallic and bitter like his own yet tinted with sweetness. As if his body had consumed so many sweet things that it was ingrained in his blood and scent. Ah... That scent, it was most certainly and unmistakably the candied smell of _Break._

All of these things brought Gilbert closer and closer to reality as he detached his wolf-like canines from the soft flesh. He pulled away, his face flushed a bright red and he slammed his eyes shut. "B-Break, i'm sorry!" He blurted out sloppily.

"You need to eat, right Gilbert?" Break opened his eye only to narrow it and give a smirk.  
'Eat?' Gil lulled over the word in his head as the situation slowly dawned on him. Had he become a... vampire? He thought meekly to himself and if he had the energy he would have laughed at the thought. But that bite had satisfied some of his unbearable hunger. So maybe for once Break wasn't joking around with him.

"It's alright, here..." Xerxes pulled the collar of his shirt down and once again exposed his neck. A small trail of blood trickled from the bite mark to his collarbone and Gilbert felt his instincts once again kicking into overdrive. He cautiously pressed his tongue to his collarbone and slid his way up to the fresh wound. He did everything he could to retain his mental composure this time as he began to lap up the ever so sweet blood that was spilling out into his mouth.

He could feel his energy and strength returning to him. He slid his hand behind the older man's head to pull him even closer but Break grew fidgety and pushed him away.

"That's quite enough for now." He hummed delicately as he pulled completely away. His eye met with two, still quite innocent gold ones. The Raven let out a small pout as he blushed then quickly hid his face. Before he could utter out an apology Xerxes continued to speak, "I'm going to help you find a way out of this, no need to worry. And I won't speak a word of this to Oz... in fact it may be best if you keep this between us, you don't want anyone knowing that you may have very well lost your humanity for good." His words came off slightly harsh, "Anytime you want to feed on me you can... as long as you do everything I ask of you, including helping me slaughter these... demons."

Raven flinched hearing that word. He felt even worse thinking about facing them again, they were terrifying.

"Don't look so sad, i'm going to help you. So throw away those useless emotions, I'll show you how to use everything and everyone available." Break gave a huge smile at his own words.

Even though what he said could easily have come off as cold, Gilbert found his words disturbingly comforting. He might be used by this man but at the same time they really were both helping each other. They were both haunted by demons, and they both had the scars to show for it. And maybe, just maybe... somewhere in that torn heart of Xerxes, Gil hoped that he cared.

* * *

**Yay~ A vampire fanfiction has emerged! Most vampire related fics have been unappealing for me though so I didn't want to give it all away in chapter 1 and leave everyone unimpressed. =]**

**Hope everyone is enjoying this little story so far, I want to satisfy all of the Break x Gil fans out there! ^.^ Because there needs to be more Break x Gil in this world.**

**Please review!**


	2. Dismiss Your Fears

**Yay, I'm still writing chapters quickly enough to get to the... "good" parts of this story :3 I hope everyone enjoys this chapter~**

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_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

* * *

Gilbert Nightray lay on his side on top of a small couch inside of a rather empty, but very large living room area. He let out a small, exasperated sigh as he stared blankly at the white, tiled floor. It had only been a few days since his encounter with Xerxes and in that time he'd done mostly everything he could to avoid him. He wasn't in the mood to be teased or joked with, but on top of that he was haunted by his own thoughts.

He hadn't been overwhelmed by his instincts again since then, nor did he have much desire to feed in any way but he kept picturing Break on the floor beside him, his head tilted gently to one side, he could see the small pulse of his vein in his throat. Raven shuttered at the thought, trying once again to push the image out of his head. He really had become some sort of monster.

Xerxes had banned him from leaving the mansion during daytime hours, fearing the light might consume him, so he couldn't tag along for the majority of jobs that the group had been working on, and by night time they would all return and find their beds to get some well deserved rest.

It drove him insane knowing he couldn't follow his master around like a lost puppy anymore. He inadvertently balled his hand into a fist and pressed it to his forehead. His face felt cool, almost dead to the touch, he also hated getting used to that. He wasn't normally bothered by so many things at once but knowing how hard he'd worked to get back to Oz's side only to be temporarily shut down by his predicament angered him to no end. But it gave him more of a reason to want to find the things that had done this to him.

He knew that it was around the time of night when his friends would be arriving back, he could hear the door creak open and his eyes wandered to it. He was prepared to jump to his feet with joy and welcome home his young, blonde haired companion but the only one who appeared before him was the red eyed phantom. Regardless he pushed himself up into a sitting position and let out a small yawn.

"Where's Oz?" He questioned as Break closed the large door behind himself.

"He stayed behind at an inn, but no need to worry, Alice and Sharon are with him, it seems they're having some difficulty tracking down a rather pesky chain." He said reassuringly as he made his way to the kitchen.

Gilbert closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead as he watched Break return moments later with a plate full of a variety of cakes and pastries and seated himself at a small table near the corner of the room.

"I can't continue to stay locked up here like this, I have to go..." Raven began to speak but was disregarded and cut off.

"You haven't eaten, have you? Ohhhh or _maybe_" His voice trailed off a little, "you've been sneaking into poor little Oz's room at night and finding your satisfaction?" He said it more like a statement than a question.

Gil's eyes widened and he made a small choking sound. "I h-haven't touched O-O-Oz." he began to stutter, though he couldn't say he didn't think about it. He'd never lay his hands on his dear Oz, however. He just blamed it on all of his new instincts that made him picture his master allowing himself to be devoured. It didn't hurt to think those things to himself... right?

Xerxes chuckled at the sight of his flustered face, Raven was far too easy to tease, and even more easy to distract. In the short amount of time it took to get Gilbert blushing on the couch he'd already finished a rather large portions of sweets. He swiftly rose to his feet and made his way to the small, blue couch to sit beside his friend.

Gilbert felt immediately uncomfortable being so close, so he tried to keep a reasonable distance from everyone lately, and proceeded to scoot away as much as he could, avoiding looking him directly in the face.

"You know..." Break began to speak, causing him to jump, "...I don't always have bad intentions, Gilbert. You need to maintain your strength and stay healthy until I can help you to figure this situation out." He reached up to grip the younger man's chin and turn his head to face him.

The moment their eyes met Gil could feel his cheeks flush, he was once again reliving that moment from a few days ago in his head. It made his mouth water and his stomach feel hot. His gold eyes seemingly zoning out as he felt himself slowly becoming a victim to his new found blood lust.

Break lavished in watching the Raven's face change so drastically. He knew that was he was doing for him was necessary but at the same time he felt a very unexpected sensation, his stomach and chest felt hot. And even though he didn't have any feelings of affection at that moment, he couldn't help but have to choke down the heat as it rose up to his throat. He let out a couple of very soft coughs to try to interrupt his own thoughts.

He knew what he was doing was mandatory and that was it, but he'd never been so physically close to another person before. He was always ruled by his drive to complete his life goals, at first it had been killing, and now it was to fulfill the Intention of the Abyss' wishes. He'd been so caught up with these goals that he'd never given himself the chance to be physically close to another person like he was at that moment. And he'd certainly never let anyone get mentally close to him knowing that his time in this world had become very limited. He hated the petty thoughts he was having at that moment.

At the sound of the small coughs Gilbert blinked quickly a few times and snapped out of his trance. His face was still flushed a light pink color and he noticed himself quickly sliding his tongue across his own lips.

Without saying a word Break pulled his ruffled, purple collar away from his throat to expose two small marks where he'd been bitten during their first and only encounter.

"N-Not there, c-c-can I umm..." Gilbert furrowed his eyebrows as he stumbled over his words, giving a very uncomfortable frown, "...I mean, I'm sorry can you..." He was mentally shooting himself at this point for what he was about to say. "Can you stick out your tongue?" He blurted out awkwardly, slamming his eyes shut as his face turned from a light pink to a very flushed red color.

Xerxes lips curled into a menacing smile as he thought of all the demeaning things he could say in response to this odd request, but he chose to gently close his wine-red eye instead and open his mouth wide, sliding his tongue out just ever so slightly.

Raven opened his eyes to the sight only to let out a quiet gasp, he felt his very animal-like fangs emerge from his mouth as he leaned forward to gently place his teeth against Break's wet tongue. As he bit down he closed his eyes, feeling Break's bottom lip pressed against his own, and he heard what could only be described as a yelp come from the other man's throat.

The sweet blood pooled into his mouth causing him to suck even harder at his tongue. Before he could get too caught up in the moment Break removed his tongue from his mouth and without pulling his face away closed his lips together and pressed them against Gil's.

Xerxes mentally slapped himself as it happened, it seems he'd been too caught up in the moment and let his body get the better of himself. What he'd done up to that point had been necessary, mandatory and needed but this certainly wasn't any of those things. Nor had he ever considered himself being with another man, as gentle spirited as Raven could be at times, he'd never imagined things would end up this way.

Gilbert's eyes shot open at the kiss. What he'd done had been driven by his animalistic instincts but a kiss was not something he'd _completely_ intended for, even though he was the one who had asked to be so close and intimate in the first place. He didn't pull away because he could feel that behind their lips touching was just a hit of desperation and want coming from the other man. Instead he reciprocated it and pushed his lips back even harder, his tongue darting out to lick at the white haired man's bottom lip which had become plastered with a mix of blood and saliva.

Xerxes let his feelings rush over him as he was absorbed into kissing him. He'd never kissed anyone before, he didn't know if it should be meaningful or full of shame as this one had been, but he couldn't help but feel good behind all of these negative thoughts. Gilbert tasted bitter, something he was not accustomed to at all but it didn't cause him to pull away, he wanted to be overwhelmed just for this moment.

Gilbert felt his demonic side taking over as he inadvertently bit down on his own lip, eliciting blood from it and feeling it slip down to his chin. He brushed his tongue against the roof of Break's warm mouth, forcing the phantom to taste his metallic blood mingling with his own.

Break slightly cringed at the new taste but at the same time he could no longer feel where he'd been bitten. He pulled away, a small strand of saliva breaking between their lips as he did so. He licked his tongue against the roof of his own mouth, realizing he was no longer bleeding.

"I-I'm sorry!" Gilbert exclaimed, panting heavily, "I just c-couldn't sto..." He tried frantically to catch his breath.

"I know." Break looked thoughtfully at him, "I stopped because I believe you healed my wound." He clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he thought to himself 'This could be very useful. I've never seen powers quite like this.' His mind quickly switched from their activities to this new found interest of what Gilbert had become and he let out a subconscious laugh.

Raven was a bit taken aback by his sudden change in mood, as he was still caught up in the moment. Break noticed the stunned and almost hurt look on his face.

'Ah! Maybe I should help him feel better for the time being so I can go do a little... research.' He got excited thinking about the things he could do with this new found ability. His face was very difficult to read as he leaned forward and slid his warm tongue across Gilbert's lips before placing a small, _almost_ caring kiss to them.

With that he quickly stood up, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do!" He hummed enthusiastically.

A small, high pitched voice suddenly chirped up "Yes, and get me out of here, you forgot about me!" It was Emily's muffled voice coming from Xerxes' large jacket pocket.

"Oh yes, Emily!" He pulled the exasperated doll from his jacket and perched her on his shoulder, giving her a wide smile.

Gilbert let out a groan, burying his face in the small, decorative pillow beside him at the horrible realization that Break had just used him... and Emily had listened. He could hear the other man telling him goodnight as he retreated to his room but he chose not to respond. He was far too embarrassed and flustered to unbury his face.

* * *

As Break entered his dark room he closed the door behind himself and leaned his back against it. He let out a long sigh and closed his eyelids, his hand going to his left eye to cover the empty space where his eye had been torn out. It brought him back to the moment he'd met Shelly, he truly felt saved by her and as he contemplated it he knew she was the only one he'd ever been so close and loyal to.

But this moment he'd shared with Gilbert had him shaken up in ways he would rather not think about. It was much different from his feelings towards Shelly and her lovely daughter, Sharon, these feelings were much more... desirable and primal.

He slowly reached over to turn the light switch on so he could glance around the room. He felt slightly disheartened as he did so, however, he could tell his vision was growing worse. The mad hatter within him was eating him alive, stealing his precious vision from him. There was still so much he had to do before he goes completely blind...

* * *

**Phew, SO! More thoughts and feelings are starting to develop! I'm trying my best to keep the two as in character as possible, hope i've been doing a good job.**

**As always, please, please, please review! I will return the favor if you want me to but having some form of criticism always makes me a better writer =D**


	3. New Demons

**Thank you for the reviews so far! I updated chapter 1 to fix a few typos and grammatical errors, i'm sure I missed some more but I don't have a beta reader so I apologize in advance if there's still flaws! Phew, it took a few days to get that chapter up, I got busy with work, but I hope everyone enjoys it.**

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_Open up your eyes and you'll see,_

_That I'm not perfect,_

_That's what I'm trying to be,_

_'Cause I know you're worth it._

_These new demons are changing me inside,_

_Changing me inside._

* * *

Xerxes was caught between thinking about Raven's new found powers and everything that had happened during their last encounter. He let out a quick sigh, rubbing his forehead as he stared blankly at the table before him.

"I don't think I necessarily enjoy the situation i've put myself in." He turned his head to the doll that was currently perched on the table and smiled.

"What do you mean, Break?" She questioned him.

"It seems I might actually... like Gilbert." His voice trailed off as his fingers subconsciously ran across his lips.

* * *

Gilbert tossed and turned in his bed, unable to find a comfortable position to lay in. He felt restless and on edge... He had been waiting days between each time he fed so maybe that would explain the empty feeling in his stomach and all of the thoughts he'd been having about Break recently. He growled under his breath and rolled out of bed, almost cursing himself for what he was about to do - go to Break's room.

Before he could take a step forward he heard a quiet knock at his door. 'Gah!' He jumped, 'That bastard read my mind!' "Y-Yes?"

He was surprised and almost relieved to hear Oz's voice on the other side, "I'm coming in!" and without another word he entered Gil's room cheerfully. He flipped on the light switch, squinting his eyes at his servant "And why are youuu moping around in the dark?"

Gil shook his head, giving a welcoming smile, it certainly felt good to smile again. "Are you drunk?" He asked blatantly as Oz stumbled towards him.

"No! Well, maybe only a little, everyone is celebrating right now but you weren't there so I came to get you." Even though he was talking fairly smoothly Oz suddenly stumbled forward, causing Gil to catch him, letting out a small chuckle.

"This is quite unbecoming of you, master Oz." He felt his heart skip a beat as his skin brushed against Oz's. They hadn't had a lot of interaction since the attack, Gil had been almost afraid to talk to anyone other than Xerxes about it, he couldn't help but feel good being close to the blonde haired boy again. But he knew deep down that he should keep his distance for many reasons, the main one being that he wasn't in complete control of himself yet.

Oz was laughing, looking up at him lovingly, his face tinted pink from the alcohol. Gilbert furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips as he looked down at him. He thought back to the night he had Break's tongue in his mouth, how good he tasted, how satisfying it all felt. He made a tiny, frustrated sound as he pushed Oz onto his bed, climbing on top of him.

"Ah! Gil is attacking me!" He joked and laughed, oblivious to the blood thirsty look that had taken over. The golden eyed man tried to inwardly fight his urges but he lowered his face to Oz's, their lips brushing just slightly against each other. The boy's eyes widened and his laughter died down.

"Gil!" He exclaimed. Gilbert kept his mouth tightly shut, knowing his fangs were now visible so they'd show if he was to speak, he wanted more than anything to bite into his warm neck.

_'Break...'_ He inwardly panted, letting his emotions get the better of him as he closed his eyes, pressing his lips firmly against Oz's this time. And to his surprise, Oz didn't fight it. Before he could bare his fangs he heard his door swing open. He jumped like a frightened cat, knowing the position he was in looked awful. His terrified eyes met with a single, cold one.

"Hellooooo~ Break!" Oz said cheerfully and drunk while still pinned underneath his servant.

"Ah, h-hello there Oz, surprised to see you here. Sorry to interrupt, i'll give you your privacy." He said with a slightly awkward smile, shutting the door hastily.

Gilbert was inwardly cursing himself, and did Break actually stutter? That definitely wasn't normal, he knew he had to chase him down. He glanced down at Oz with a gentle look in his eyes, "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you tomorrow night, okay?" He brushed his hand lovingly against Oz's flushed cheeks. He'd pictured this moment happening for so long, yet none of it felt quite right, with Oz being drunk, his vampiric side coming through, and his mind burdened with thoughts of Xerxes.

Oz gave a tiny, frustrated glare at the older man as he moved off of him. Gilbert let out an anxious breath before turning to run out of the room. His mind raced as he ran through the hall towards Break's room, flinging the door open and panting heavily.

Xerxes merely looked up from his small desk that he was sitting at, "Gilbert?" He said cooly.

"Break, i'm sorry." He stepped forward, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Oh? No need to be." Break smiled, his voice as calm as usual. "I didn't know you could be such a pervert." He chuckled.

Gilbert glanced down that floor, _'Could it be that he really wasn't bothered? The way he stuttered and left I just thought...'_ He could feel hot tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, he hated the situation he just put himself in.

Xerxes eye widened as he saw the clear distress in Gil's face. He got to his feet and approached him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. Before he could speak Gilbert looked up at him before closing the distance between them, pressing their lips together. This time seemed so different from the last, he kissed him with passion and want, not filled with some strange blood lust.

Break gasped against him while Gilbert took the opportunity to slip his tongue between his lips, rubbing it against the roof of his mouth and letting out a small moan between their lips.

"G-Gilbert, didn't I just walk in on..." He panted softly as he pulled away to speak but was cut off by another kiss.

"Break, I want you, I r-really l-l-like you." He struggled to say, his heart sinking knowing that his feeling probably wouldn't be shared. He decided he didn't want to give the older man a chance to answer and said, "Please, don't say anything, just let me kiss you."

Xerxes watched him quietly, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let himself get overwhelmed by this person. He surprised himself with his own thoughts as he closed his eye, pulling Gilbert towards the bed while they began kissing fiercely.

The brunette pushed him onto the bed quickly before rolling over, pulling Xerxes on top of him and arching his back into the other man. As Break let out a soft moan Gilbert felt his entire body tremble, he'd never heard such a fantastically attractive sound before. The white haired man adored the reaction he received, making small noises before sliding his tongue over Gil's golden ear piercing. Break wanted to make him quiver more, wanted to watch him squirm as he violated every part of him.

As he became swept up in his thoughts Gilbert suddenly flipped him over, making a small "oomph" sound as he was pinned to the sheets. He'd never seen Gil as the type to dominate anyone but as he glanced up he knew why. He bared his menacing fangs, his gold eyes glossed over with lust and hunger. The younger male no longer seemed kind or caring as he ripped open the other man's white shirt, sending buttons flying in different directions, his eyes seemingly devouring the body before him. His hand traveled from Breaks neck and down to his waist line before pulling his pants open, exposing the boxers underneath.

"Ah, Gilbert, wait..." He panted heavily, wanting to snap the man out of his trance, but he felt himself becoming hard and it was difficult to want to stop. Gilbert let out a small growl in response, tearing open his own shirt and undoing his own pants. He leaned in to bite down on Break's neck, so hard that it left bruises where his teeth were.

Xerxes gasped at the sensation, arching his hips forward, memorized by the moment. "Ah, Gil... a little too hard..." He panted as he tried to gently push the man off his neck. This caused Gilbert to bite down more possessively, drinking more and more of him to the point where he felt weak. "Gil... enough... I can't..." He struggled to speak as his arms were held down, the blood loss making him feel weak, at the back of his mind he still arched his hips into Gil's erection.

As Break felt himself nearing unconsciousness Gilbert pulled away, collapsing beside him. "Gilbert!" He half shouted rolling onto his side and grabbing the man's shoulder. He felt a relief rush over him as he realized Gil had only pushed himself to the point of passing out and was sleeping soundly, blood smeared across his lips, shirt ripped open. Break couldn't help but give a warm smile as he leaned over and placed a small kiss against his forehead. "It's alright... I think I like you too." He whispered weakly before snuggling into the taller man.

* * *

**I know this was a short chapter, but it was a very necessary one to move forward with the story! Enjoy~**

**I'm very excited, what will happen with Oz and Gil after their encounter, and how will his relationship with Break develop further? STAY TUNED and as always, please review =D**


	4. I'm insane

**I'm glad I could get this chapter up so quickly, having the day off work really helped, and I found quite a bit of inspiration as I wrote this one so please enjoy and review! And I'd like to thank my readers who have reviewed and are keeping up with the story as I post it, i'm truly, truly thankful I could be your servant -bows- ^.^**

* * *

_I'm insane_

_Well, I can feel it in my bones coursing through my veins_

_When did I become so cold?_

_For goodness sake_

_Where is my self-control?_

_If home is where my heart is then my heart has lost all hope_

* * *

Gilbert awoke from the most refreshing sleep he'd had in a very long time. He slowly opened his eyes to see Break's sleeping face, he looked so relaxed and comfortable, cuddled tightly against him. His frail body felt warm and inviting, Gil had never seen him look so peaceful. Gil smiled gently but quickly frowned as his eyes wandered down to the painful looking bite on his neck.

Memories of the previous night flooded his head,_ 'What if I had accidentally taken his life? I don't understand why he didn't just forcefully stop me... could it be he wanted to let me do it so badly that he stomached the pain and didn't fight back?'_ Gil furrowed his eyebrows and remembered their first kiss they'd shared._ 'I don't know if this will work but I have to try.' _He bit down on his own finger, wincing as he pressed his hand to Break's neck, letting the blood drip on him before his finger rapidly healed.

Xerxes slowly opened his eye, feeling Gil's rather cold hand pressed against him. He looked up into the other man's eyes, shocked by the overly caring expression on Gil's face. He raised his hand to touch the younger man's before pressing their lips together. Gilbert returned the kiss passionately before muttering "I'm sorry." But Break paid no mind to his words as he began to trail kisses along Gil's jaw and down to his neck.

"If I bite you, we'll be even, right?" A smile crept across Breaks face as he said it. He bit down gently, feeling his tongue slide against the soft skin. Gilbert's face flushed red as he gasped at the sensation. It felt so good that he couldn't stand the teasing anymore as he rolled on top of the shorter male, entwining their fingers together and looking down into his eyes longingly.

Break returned the look before carefully saying "I want you."

Gilbert blushed even more than he already had been before leaning in to quickly lick at the other man's lips, "You have me." Break closed his eye, letting out an almost relieved sigh as he tilted his head back. He'd never imagined getting so close to someone before, never thought he'd lose what innocence he had left to Raven. It almost scared him to think about, he knew that if things went too far, he could never turn back.

Gilbert trailed kisses down to Break's collarbone, licking and nipping at it. Their shirts still tore open from the encounter a few hours before. Break felt so small underneath him, almost delicate, he thought to himself as he trailed his hands down from his chest to his pants which were still unbuttoned. Gilbert timidly slipped his hand under the white haired man's boxers while sucking at his collarbone.

"G-Gil." Break moaned his name, arching his back up at the touch. He felt Gil's hand quiver nervously as he gripped his erection. He moved slowly at first, eliciting frustrated noises from Break, watching his eye slamming shut as he squirmed under his hand. As he began to pick up the speed he suddenly stopped, pulling his hand back so he could push Break's pants down, exposing him.

Gilbert felt painfully hard, his pants restricting and hurting him as he also proceeded to remove his clothing. He put his fingers against Break's soft lips before saying, "Suck." It was a simple request but very seductive and it sent Break reeling. He sucked hard at his fingers, licking them, holding his wrist. Gilbert panted as he slid his fingers all the way down Break's hot throat, causing him to let out a small choking sound. He leaned down to kiss the corners of his forcefully opened mouth, comforting him as he adjusted to having his fingers so deep in his throat.

Gil realized this was the first time he'd been so passionate without his demonic side taking over, he assumed it was from the large amount of blood he consumed earlier. It was the first time that he knew his feelings were completely his own and not driven by something more sinister. He removed his fingers, watching Break gasp for air, his white hair sticking to his face which was tinted a slight shade of pink.

Gil slipped his hand back downwards, pressing a wet finger against Break's entrance.

"Ah, Gilbert... I've never... done this before..." He panted heavily as he spoke.

"I'll go slow, just relax." His voice became very calm and soothing, he pressed his lips to Break's at the same time he pushed the first finger in. Once he felt his muscles start to relax and give in he gently slid in a second finger. Break began repeatedly kissing him, and Gilbert had never seen such a desperate look on the other man's face before, it made him even more excited. As the excitement grew he pushed in a third finger, causing Break to wince.

He felt the muscles tighten around his fingers, he knew Break was uncomfortable but he couldn't stop himself, he was mesmerized by the look on his face. Gilbert wanted more. He wanted to watch him scream in pleasure. He pulled his fingers out quickly, causing Break to flinch.

Gil let out a long, shaky breath as he positioned himself between Break's delicate legs. Xerxes was almost frightened by the size of Gil's erection as he knew he was about to enter him. He felt his body tense up and he grabbed at the sheets and bit his own lip.

"Hey, relax. I want you so much, no, I _need_ you, always." He felt Break's body relax at his words as his usual calm composure resurfaced.

"Gilbert..." His voice was dry and hot as he leaned his head up to just barely touch their lips together, "I like you." He let himself be swept up in the moment as Gil spit in the palm of his own hand to use as lube before gently pushing the very tip of his erection into Break's entrance. They kissed roughly, Break reaching up to grab the other's shoulders hard.

"I love you." Gilbert blurted out passionately as he pushed himself the all the way into Break. The white haired man let out a loud gasp, becoming overwhelmed with pain and discomfort. Noticing the look on the smaller man's face, Gil reached down to grip Xerxes' member and began pumping it with his hand as he began moving himself slowly in and out, making sure each time the thrusted back in he hit his pleasure spot. Each time he hit it he watched Break moan at the new sensation but as he stared into his face Break leaned up and bit his ear hard, his teeth clashing against the gold piercing.

"Break!" He shouted loudly, unable to hold back any longer he began thrusting as hard and fast as he possibly could, so fast that Break couldn't catch his breath at all. He let out a whimper before coming hard into Break's hand, spilling his warm seed over both of their bare stomachs. His entire body twitched with pleasure, he felt Gilbert pulsate inside of him as he came, filling him to brim.

Gilbert collapsed on top of him, not ready to pull out yet as he wrapped his arms around him lovingly. Break cuddled into him in return, letting out a quiet chuckle. Gilbert didn't bother to ask what he could be thinking about at that moment and instead chose to close his eyes, listening to the comforting sound of Break's heart pounding quickly in his chest.

* * *

The two slept throughout the next day, not wanting to let each other go or face reality when they left the bedroom. They made their way to main living room where Oz, Alice and Sharon were all hanging out and enjoying an evening in each other's company.

Gilbert awkwardly stumbled out in front of the group, realizing that it really had been a while since he hung around with all of them at once. Break on the other hand seemed unbothered as he sat on the couch beside Sharon and instantly began exchanging jokes with her.

Gil looked up and his eyes met with Oz's. Oz gave him an almost sad smile. Had the blonde remembered his drunken stooper from the previous night? "Gil, can we please talk?" He said as he held out a small hand towards him.

Gilbert cautiously glanced over at Break who didn't seem to notice what was happening, or rather, was ignoring it. Would it bother Break if he went to talk to Oz? It shouldn't... right? He turned his attention back to Oz, he did want to talk to him, he wanted to apologize and be back in the good graces of his master. Gil took his hand and turned to lead him out of the living area and into a spare room nearby. Upon entering the room Oz set down a bottle of wine he'd been holding in his other had then turned to face Gil.

"Oz." He quickly fell to his knees, bowing his head, "I want to apologize for laying my hands on you, i'm sincerely sorry. My purpose is to protect you and I let you down..."

Oz placed a hand on Gilbert's soft hair, petting at it and smiling. "You can make it up to me then!" Gilbert looked up at him from his kneeling position, furrowing his eyebrows. Oz was always so cheerful and bright, it absolutely made Gil's heart melt. "I'll do anything." He responded boldly.

Oz let out a conniving laugh, much like the one he used to use when he would torment and bully Gilbert when they were kids. "Say, 'I love being your servant'." He commanded him.

Gilbert blushed while still on his knees, "I l-l-love, umm, being your... servant!" He half shouted, quickly standing up and throwing his arms out in exaggeration as he said the word 'servant'.

"Now tell me much you want to be with me." Oz narrowed his eyes, his smile growing wider.

"More than anything!" Gilbert blushed further, hugging the smaller boy tightly. "You mean more to me than anything in the world, may I, umm, p-p-please... h-hug you?" He blurted out, his arms still out stretched as he closed his eyes in embarrassment.

Oz laughed, hugging the taller man tightly, "It feels nice being like this with you again! Now then!" He pulled away and leaned down beside the door to pick up the bottle he'd set down earlier. "Let's drink!" He said cheerfully. The two sat down with their backs to the door, laughing and joking as they drank together.

And like the poor drunk that Gilbert was he rolled over to Oz, climbing on top of his lap so they were both facing each other. "I've always -hick- wanted to do this." He slurred his words though he hadn't had much to drink yet. He closed the distance between their lips, kissing him, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

_'Why am I crying?'_ He thought sadly to himself, he'd been so happy moments earlier. He pushed the thought away as Oz leaned into his kiss, his tongue darting out to glide over Gilbert's lips. That nearly brought Gil over the edge, he knew he couldn't hold back any more as he opened his mouth and plunged his tongue into Oz's inviting mouth. Oz gasped, his tongue brushing across Gil's now visible fangs that had appeared.

"G-Gil, what is..." He tried to ask but was cut off by the taller man's passionate kissing, tasting the sweet alcohol on his lips.

"Break..." He moaned, about to bike down on Oz's soft and trembling bottom lip.

Before Oz could react the door flung violently open, hitting Oz in the back, causing Gil to jump to his feet.

"Hey stupid seaweed head, what are you doing to my servant in there?" He heard Alice's drunken voice shouting as she stormed her way into the room, knocking Oz over with the force of the door.

Gilbert growled at her, "Don't hurt my young master!" He shouted, shaking his fist at her, his face flustered as he panted.

"Or what?! A stupid seaweed head servant like you can't touch me, i'll do what I please with him!" She grabbed the collar of Oz's shirt to pull him to his feet.

"Alice!" He exclaimed, his face still flushed red as he tried to catch his breath. She quickly began pulling him out the door and leading him by his shirt collar back to the living room where everyone continued to enjoy their evening. Gilbert gritted his teeth angrily, holding himself back from hitting the younger female.

Moments later he stormed angrily back into the living room, mumbling something about rabbits and cats.

Break sat quietly across the room watching Gilbert as he started up an argument with a nearby chair. He ran his fingers through his own, white hair, and while his face remained calm and smiling he was welling up on the inside. He could see Gilbert's ruffled clothing, the red tint to his cheeks, saliva glistening on his lips and based on the sounds he heard coming from the door the two had retreated to he knew what had most likely happened. He inwardly sighed, he didn't want to think about how much trust he had given Raven, how he felt it was all being thrown away at that moment.

"It's getting late~" Break announced as he stood up, "I'm going to get some beauty sleep, I hope you all have a wonderful night!" He waved cheerfully before making his way to his room to sit at his small table that he enjoyed studying at. He placed his glasses on his face, squinting his eye down at a book only to realize that his vision had become even worse. He threw the glasses to the floor, closing his eyes and covering them with his hands as he leaned back into his chair.

Gilbert wrapped up his little fight with the chair, whom he was convinced was the B-Rabbit and turned around victoriously only to notice that Xerxes had left the room. He didn't even notice him leave, maybe he forgot to say good night? Or maybe he didn't want to say it, Gil glanced around with horror in his eyes, maybe he saw what he did to Oz... Once again hot hears burned at the corner of Gilbert's eyes.

Oz glanced over at the distressed and confused looking man and shook his head.

"W-w-where did Break go? Did he leave me?" Gilbert began to whine, still hallway drunk.

"Stupid slave, he went to bed." Alice said with her arms folded proudly across her chest.

_'I have to go tell him good night! I have to make sure he's okay, and more importantly I have to... tell him what happened...'_ Gilbert thought solemnly, beating himself up as he turned and broke into a dead run out of the living room. As he ran he felt the hallway become dark and unwelcoming, he could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as he froze mid run. Time seemed to stop as a shadowy figure crept it's way toward him.

He wanted to scream and run but he couldn't find his voice, his fear instantly sobering him up. The shadow formed into the shape of a girl with beautiful, long white hair and captivating purple eyes. She stepped forward and placed her lips quickly to Gil's, quickly biting his lip in the process to draw blood, but as the blood dripped to the floor she quickly pulled away to smile.

/'So she's the same as me?'/ Gil thought solemnly. He felt himself relax only slightly, her presence didn't have the same feel as the demons that first attacked him. She held out a small, delicate hand towards Gilbert, drawing him in with her presence.

Gil felt his mind going blank, a single tear streaked down his cheek as he reached forward to take her hand. As he blinked they were transported to what seemed like another dimension. But he recognized his surroundings instantly, they were in the same church that Oz had been thrown into the Abyss in.

"W-Why am I here...?" He asked softly, glancing around as he wiped the tear from his cheek.

"Gilbert, Duke of the great house Nightray." She lowered herself to her knees before him, "Our master." She said joyfully. Gil's eyes widened as the church filled with shadows that quickly took the shapes of various men, all bowing before him.

"Soon, very soon..." She said, "Our master will be reborn, you're our chosen one, destined to throw this world into chaos!" She declared, breaking into an evil fit of laughter before his feet. Gilbert felt overwhelmed by fear as even more creatures surrounded him, all silently bowing around him. How did this happen?

* * *

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, sorry for stirring up the drama between Oz, Break and Gilbert but I think it made the story all the more fun for me to write ^.^ I will be honest and say I haven't done much proofreading for this chapter, i'm really ashamed to admit that but I promise i'll go back over and revise it to work out any flaws/typos/grammatical errors that I missed, just give me time~ Or volunteer as my lovely beta reader which I so desperately need!**


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